Rituals: what are they, why include them?
There are many rituals (often referred to as ceremonies or rites) within marriage and commitment ceremonies: some are religious, some cultural traditions, others’ origins aren’t known.
The exchange of rings is a common ritual – the ring symbolises endless love: it has no beginning, it has no end…and it’s a physical illustration of your commitment. (There’s no requirement for wedding rings, it’s a personal choice for each of you.)
real care creating real weddings for real people
Another very common ritual in Australia is the ‘giving away’ / presentation of the bride (and groom) .
Including a ritual with special meaning for you in your ceremony will add quality, depth and distinction: it’s an opportunity to reflect and illustrate your personalities; to demonstrate and reinforce your values and beliefs – about marriage, union, family, culture and heritage….and love.
This is a means to include, actively involve, honour, or symbolically join your families and guests in your ceremony.
Rituals may be performed by, and include anyone you choose.
I’ll give you a range of ideas, and refer you to others if you wish…
Just look at at the word ‘laugh’ long enough you see it’s a really weird word … think about that! … are you smiling? (What has that to do with marriage and weddings, and me, who wants to be your celebrant? hmmmm…?)
L is for love, and like; both essential ingredients in the healthy relationship recipe.
But in my book laughter is the magic L word.
laugh smile joke
When I met my now husband Fred it was NOT his fashion sense that attracted me (though the total surprises this brings have many many a time made me laugh).
He made me laugh. He made others laugh. Still does.
Lucky woman I am.
the BGs, Fred and Casey … how much they’ve grown!
Focusing on what is important – to each of you and both of you – will help you decide the promises you want to make each other.
I ask couples to reflect on their relationship, on why they’ve chosen to commit to each other, and I suggest time out both together and independently to think about this.
I provide a long list of questions to act as prompts.
Here’s a big one:
Where do you see yourselves in five years?
Another: Where do you see yourselves in ten years?
And another: Where do you see yourselves in twenty years?
US? One thing we did was we made a rule ‘there are no rules’. (Didn’t see this one coming!)
As part of the process of preparing for their wedding ceremony, I ask couples to reflect why they’ve decided to formally commit to each other, and I suggest they take some time out to really focus on this. I provide them a long list of questions.
Here’s one to think about today:
What’s your funniest experience together?
My answer is….
wow,…where do I begin?
Focusing on what is important to each of you and both of you, will help you decide the promises you want to make each other, and what and who to incorporate in your ceremony.
I ask couples to reflect on why they’ve chosen to commit to each other, and I suggest making and taking some well-spent time out both together and independently to think about this. I provide a long list of questions to act as prompts.
Here’s one for today:
♥ What’s the biggest compliment you could give your partner? ♥
Mine… He’s kind –
Creating a marriage ceremony’s a bit like cooking… and you’re the ingredients.
After familiarising myself with your flavours and colours and aromas and textures I’ll be your chef, and create the ceremony.
You’ll then check for taste and presentation, and I’ll adjust the seasoning and plating accordingly.
Then your guests have the honour and pleasure of sharing in this creation that tastes, looks, smells and feels like no other ceremony, one that can never be replicated.
The only people for me are the mad ones – Jack Kerouac (from ‘On the Road’)
The only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time,
the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing,
but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.
There are many rituals, ceremonies or rites that can be included in marriage and commitment ceremonies: some are cultural or religious traditions, others are of unknown origin.
In Australia, rituals such as exchange of rings, and giving away / presentation of the bride (and groom) are common.
Including a ritual with special meaning for you will give your ceremony quality, depth and distinction. It’s an opportunity to:
♦ reflect your personalities
♦ demonstrate, reinforce and honour your values and beliefs about
♦♦ marriage ♦♦ union ♦♦ family ♦♦ culture ♦♦ and heritage ♦♦
♦ include and actively involve your families / guests , or to
♦ symbolically join your families as part of your ceremony….and
rituals may be performed by and include whoever you wish.