R. . . rituals..rites..rings

Rituals: what are they, why include them?

There are many rituals (often referred to as ceremonies or rites) within marriage and commitment ceremonies: some are religious, some cultural traditions, others’ origins aren’t known.

The exchange of rings is a common ritual – the ring symbolises endless love: it has no beginning, it has no end…and it’s a physical illustration of your commitment.  (There’s no requirement for wedding rings, it’s a personal choice for each of you.)

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Another very common ritual in Australia is  the ‘giving away’ / presentation of the bride (and groom) .

Including a ritual with special meaning for you in your ceremony will add quality, depth and distinction: it’s an opportunity to reflect  and illustrate your personalities; to demonstrate and reinforce your values and beliefs – about marriage, union, family, culture and heritage….and love.

This is a means to include, actively involve, honour, or symbolically join your families and guests in your ceremony.  

Rituals may be performed by, and include anyone you choose.

I’ll give you a range of ideas, and refer you to others if you wish…


Hi Lib

The naming ceremony you put together for Brodie was such a beautiful and special day for (us) all – it meant so much to us to have chosen you to share the experience with us. You’re an amazing celebrant… You had some amazing ideas; all the hard work you put in, and all the behind the scenes work you did definitely showed in the presentation.

Thank you so much again. I highly recommend you to others if they’re looking for a great, and easy going celebrant.

Ammie 10/3/16

talking about quality, animals, celebrants and diamonds

Lately I’ve been reading in wedding forums about celebrants’ fees, in particular that some celebrants are blatantly undercutting others in order to get the business.

It seems all very dog-eat-dog…  And considering how much is spent on some weddings, and the amount of work a professional celebrant does in creating a high quality ceremony, even the most expensive is very good value!

I’ve just been doing some research and I came across celebrant guru Dally Messenger’s 

“What is a fair fee? Do you want a 1 or a 5 Diamond Celebrant?”                                           

It makes a lot of sense – worth a look:


professional celebrant who makes you feel like her only clientAs a bride said to me recently:                                            

“you pay peanuts, you get …….”  

Well, you know the rest!

where do you see yourselves in five years? ten? twenty?

Focusing on what is important – to each of you and both of you – will help you decide the promises you want to make each other.

I ask couples to reflect on their relationship, on why they’ve chosen to commit to each other, and  I suggest time out both together and independently to think about this.

I provide a long list of questions to act as prompts.

Here’s a big one:

Where do you see yourselves in five years? 

Another: Where do you see yourselves in ten years?

And another: Where do you see yourselves in twenty years?

US? One thing we did was we made a rule ‘there are no rules’. (Didn’t see this one coming!)


what have you shared?

As part of the process of preparing for their wedding ceremony, I ask couples to reflect why they’ve decided to formally commit to each other, and I suggest they take some time out to really focus on this. I provide them a long list of questions.

Here’s one for today:

Most memorable shared experience?


Ours? ...the most wonderful time at the end of a 6 month adventure…we celebrated 2 years married in a hut on the beach in true paradise El Nido. Fred bought the only bubbles in the village, it was corked, looked like beer, tasted just as it looks…and is one of our most precious memories. 

asti el nido

Laughing with your other…

As part of the process of preparing for their wedding ceremony, I ask couples to reflect why they’ve decided to formally commit to each other, and I suggest they take some time out to really focus on this. I provide them a long list of questions.

Here’s one to think about today:

What’s your funniest experience together?


My answer is….

wow,…where do I begin?


Equality in the right to marry is the only way. 

Aside from giving me life-long friendships with some incredible women, the best thing about my education was that it instilled in me a strong belief in, and desire to work to achieve social justice. I’m proud that I’ve pursued this all my life, even if on a pretty small scale.

One of the reasons I became a celebrant is that it’s a role where I can continue to help others, and in regard to marriage ceremonies, I work with them and am privileged to share in and help at a happy time. As a celebrant I’m privileged to share in couples’ celebrations of love when they formally, legally commit to each other in marriage: as they share their love, and joy with their families, friends and communities.

However, so many couples in Australia are denied this opportunity; they do not have this right, as marriage equality doesn’t exist here. The reality is that couples in same-sex relationships are not treated with the same dignity as other Australians.

I believe that equal rights and liberties are essential for a healthy, fair society.

I believe that everybody must be given what should be the basic right to choose to marry – or not.


Equality in the right to marry is the only way.