Focusing on what is important – to each of you and both of you – will help you decide the promises you want to make each other.

I ask couples to reflect on their relationship, on why they’ve chosen to commit to each other, and  I suggest time out both together and independently to think about this.

I provide a long list of questions to act as prompts.

Here’s a big one:

Where do you see yourselves in five years? 

Another: Where do you see yourselves in ten years?

And another: Where do you see yourselves in twenty years?

US? One thing we did was we made a rule ‘there are no rules’. (Didn’t see this one coming!)